Children of sperm donors and children of egg donors should know the story of how they joined their families. Experts advise on when and how to start explaining concepts.
BY KRIS PROBASCO, LCSW, and MEGAN FABIAN
Look at your beautiful curly hair!” the teacher said to Gillian’s six-year-old daughter, Molly. “It’s so pretty, just like your mommy’s!” “Thank you,” she said. “Before I was a baby, Mommy and Daddy had a helper, another mommy, called a donor, and the doctor put me in my mommy’s uterus to grow. And then I came out!”
Gillian had wondered whether her daughter really got her donor conception story. This moment proved that she did. Like Gillian, you should tell your child everything you know about her story. The goal is for the child not to remember being told, because she has always known how she came into your family. Details of sperm, egg, in vitro fertilization, embryos, and cryopreservation can be a lot for young children (and parents) to handle. Here’s how to begin talking…